Wedding invitations, the drama is real. You have your standard invites, immediate family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc. You best friends and close friends. Maybe a few favorite coworkers. But then you start getting into dangerous territory. All those people you’re related to that you never talk to but will be terribly offended if they don’t get an invite. Those friends that you know that you aren’t sure if you should invite because you’ve got a budget to keep and you’re not that close but you don’t want to be rude either. And goodness gracious the truck load of people from church and work that all know you and if you invite one you would have to invite them all.
Truth be told being invited to a wedding is a BIG deal. Especially if you are a friend that doesn’t know the bride half as much as everyone else. It is a big deal because most brides have a limited amount of people they can invite that will comfortably fit in the venue. Therefore being invited is basically being told that you are relatively important to the bride for her to want you at her wedding. That being said sending invitations “just to be nice.” shouldn’t be allowed. I know when I a get invited to peoples weddings I just die from excitement and it is really special to me because it means the bride wants me there. Your guest list should NOT consist of people that you don’t genuinely want at your wedding. Obvious exception is for immediate relatives because seriously not inviting that annoying aunt will come back to haunt you in the long run. And yes sometimes you’ll have to invite your best friends wife or husband even if you don’t like them because they are kind of a packaged deal. So how does all this break down into an invitation list? well let start with the musts…
This is standard average wedding invitations.
Parents on both sides.
Siblings of both sides
grandparents of both sides
aunts/uncles and cousins of both sides.
so on so forth
Most of these people, if you live close to them and see them often you don’t need to send a formal invitation to because they already know they are invited. If you want to cut corners and your family isn’t all about “keeping up appearances” then just give them an informal invitation and save on the budget.
In addition to the wedding party you may still have some left over friends you would like to have attend you wedding. Try to keep it to people you actually want there though. I received an invitation from a someone once and it meant so much to me because I had always tried to cultivate a good relationship with her. I found out she just sent it to be nice because she had invited someone else I knew. That kind of made it very superficial and honestly made the relationship I tried to have with her very pointless. So be careful when inviting people to “be nice.”
The Plus One’s
This also goes towards making sure your not inviting people you really don’t want there. If you invite a person it is common courtesy to allow a plus one. People don’t typically want to come to a wedding alone so if you really want more people there give them a plus one. Don’t forget to allot for children as well. Most times a couple with kids will get a babysitter but some people can’t afford or don’t trust a babysitter. They aren’t sure if you would be okay with having their kids there and will therefore not come. So if you really want them there make sure you are being aware when inviting and specify if the children are invited or not.
Every wedding is going to have no shows. Often though you still have to invite them even if you know they won’t show up because it would be rude not to. Examples are friends from three states over and forever that you love but know there is no way they will come or the third uncle’s cousin’s brother’s wife’s sister’s aunt you meet 12 years ago but there is zero chance of her coming. The reason for invitations are to show that you care and you want people there. If you know someone isn’t going to show up that’s fine send the invitation anyway. It will put a smile on their face that you thought of them and wanted them at your wedding.
Church, co-workers, etc.
You can’t invite everyone and they will just have to understand that. Invite the people you work closely with. Try to keep it simple so no one feels like they have been insulted for not having been invited. If you are inviting people from these places it is better to do it in a separate environment then the one you work or go to church at. Don’t ask them where others will be ease dropping or you may have a few people invite themselves.
Ultimately remember this is YOUR day! It isn’t a political game of keeping everyone happy. I have not been invited to a number of weddings and I wasn’t offended because although I knew the bride and groom we weren’t spend every second of the day together kind of people. As long as you have the family politics down don’t worry about the rest. Your day is about YOU and YOU should enjoy it!
Who is on your must and must NOT list? Let us know what you think by commenting below or emailing us at firstname.lastname@example.org
We always look forward to hearing from you. Don’t forget to subscribe and follow us to get updates sent straight to your email! As always we thank you for your support.
Copyright Mary Me Planning 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of any material on “Mary Me Planning”, without express and written permission from this site’s author and owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.